This story first appeared in CityView Magazine’s “The Love Issue” February 2026 edition.

“I’m in the mood for love / Simply because you’re near me / Funny, but when you’re near me / I’m in the mood for love.” Nat King Cole sang it. So did Julie London. And Rod Stewart. All memorably. So have thousands of other singers, from the great to the unknown. We all can relate to it. We all fall in love. 

But not always in the ways we might expect. As we wander through this month with a big heart in its middle, pop culture will do its best to focus us on the wonders (and pains!) of romance. 

Most of us can relate. We’ve lived that part of life, from the first crush on that cute redhead in third grade to the long-time partner who’s at our side as we wake up in our eighth or ninth decade of life.  

I’ve fallen in love more times than I probably should have, with results from bad to good to glorious. And I’m lucky to have spent the last quarter century in that last category. (Happy Valentine’s Day, Rachel!) 

But loving isn’t just about your romantic partner—at least it shouldn’t be. I sure did fall in love with my son when I saw him open his eyes in the world for the first time. I fell in love with the ocean, over and over, when I lived near it, and I still carry a full cargo of salt water in my heart.  

And dogs—have I ever bored you with stories about the amazing dogs who have filled all of my adult life? Every one of them has a unique personality, so different from the ones that came before or after. And every one has brought love that keeps me afloat, no matter how challenging life might be.  

Or places—how many times have I fallen in love with a beach, a mountain, a lake, a town? Just before the turn of the century and millennium, I fell in love with Fayetteville when a mid-career move brought me to this place so unlike anywhere I’d lived before.  

It wasn’t love at first sight. Downtown was still a crumbled mess then and way too much of the city was a testimonial to the drabness of urban sprawl. No, it wasn’t physical love—not at first anyway. It was the people—warm, welcoming, helpful, polite. Neighbors quickly became friends. I was welcomed into places where I’d never expect warmth or openness. It was a mixture of Southern hospitality and a military community where departures and arrivals happened quickly and constantly, where friendships have to be made fast because time is precious.  

I fell in love, too, with the essential optimism of the place. Oh sure, Fayetteville has its share of dour, can’t-do souls. But they’re mostly outnumbered and overpowered by a powerful belief that we can be better. In election after election, Fayetteville chooses leaders who believe we can fix what’s broken and become something greater than the sum of our parts. Even if the struggle lasts for decades (as the revival of downtown has), the believers refuse to back down, refuse to let the Negative Nellies win. The Nellies are fond of proclaiming that “Fayetteville is Fayetteville,” by which they mean we should never expect to become a place as vibrant and attractive as some of North Carolina’s other, thriving metro areas. 

But the winning team believes otherwise. And they keep pressing onward. Look at downtown today. Look at the new medical school. Look at the county’s increasing investment in public education. Look at the stunning growth of both of the city’s universities and the community college. Look at the ever-improving quality of the city’s cultural life—the poster child of the moment being the Cape Fear Regional Theatre’s stunning expansion.  

It’s been 27 years since I visited Fayetteville for my first job interview. Although I’ve seen more than a few community missteps, I’ve mostly seen a city and county moving forward, getting better every year. 

One of the things you come to realize after you’ve loved and lost a few times is that there are no perfect partners in life. Idealized dreams don’t come true. Nothing in life is perfect, and that includes the people and places we love. We learn, eventually, to embrace the foibles along with the beauty. So it is for my love affair with Fayetteville. The city is still a monument to sprawl, and don’t even think about long walks on safe sidewalks, let alone solving the city’s wrenching poverty problems. But all of that is still on the to-do list of optimistic leaders and believers. The solutions will come because Fayetteville is the kind of place that won’t quit and refuses to do anything but improve.