I will always remember my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Privet, for two reasons: She introduced me to “Mr. Popper’s Penguins,” which became one of my favorite children’s books, and she taught me the art of letter writing.

I learned this skill long before emails and texts became the preferred method of communication. I already had enough difficulty learning how to put pen to paper to convey my feelings and didn’t need the added challenge of navigating the world of technology — that would come much later.

Mrs. Privet had very high standards and was a stickler for spelling and grammar. There was no spell check, so we had to consult the dictionary to make sure every word was spelled correctly. Mrs. Privet would stroll around the classroom, periodically stopping to read someone’s letter. Sometimes, I would look up from my paper to see a room full of children who seemed as nervous as I was about disappointing our teacher.

Mrs. Privet taught us not only the grammatical aspects of letter writing but also the importance of diction and tone. Unless you were sending a birthday greeting to someone you knew pretty well, you should never crack a joke or use sarcasm. Letter writing was a serious business that required good manners.

It is a good thing Mrs. Privet is no longer with us. Just one glance at the informal, often disrespectful and vulgar exchanges that now pass as acceptable discourse, and Mrs. Privet would keel over and have to be revived with smelling salts.

I was in high school when I discovered the true value of knowing how to write letters. When I graduated, I received several gifts from friends and family members. After purchasing my first box of thank you notes, I sat down and began writing letters thanking people for their generosity and promising to stay in touch when I went off to college.

If all of my letters sounded alike, there was a good reason. One of my friends had been advised by her mother to create a template for thank you notes so she wouldn’t exhaust herself trying to come up with individualized messages for each person. Since my friend’s mother had always seemed to be an extremely organized and efficient person, I followed her advice.

The template method I employed in high school served me well when I got married. Instead of having to write a dozen or so thank you notes, I had to write more than a hundred. While each card had the same expression of gratitude, I was careful to identify the specific gift each person had given me. Mrs. Privet would be proud of my attention to detail.

The art of letter writing has been so important to me that it was one of the first things I taught my daughters. At an early age, they were both able to write thank you notes for birthday and Christmas presents, and learned how to write letters to Santa to share their wish list. For several years, I would find these lists underneath the Christmas tree and store them away. I still look at them occasionally, grateful for the chance to read them and to hold a piece of their childhood in my hands.

I also enjoy reading letters from my aunt, who suffered from arthritis in her later years. Although she could no longer write with a pen or pencil because of her medical condition, she would type messages thanking me for gifts. It occurred to me one day after reading one of her letters that she had found a way to continue corresponding despite her infirmity. I had always thought of letter writing as a pen-and-paper endeavor, but my aunt proved me wrong. She was so determined to stay in touch that she redefined the whole process.

I am not so averse to modern technology that I am blind to the benefits of communicating through emails and texts. There are, however, times when the proper method of corresponding requires putting pen to paper. When you offer your condolences, your congratulations, or your wishes for a happy birthday in your own words, you are reminded of the true value of letter writing. You will be glad you took the time to write a personal note, and your friend will be glad to be remembered in this way. After all, it is what Mrs. Privet would want you to do.

Read CityView Magazine’s “Arts & Culture” October 2024 e-edition here.