In this day and age where the spoken words, “I do,” turn quickly into “I’m through,” many in our society find themselves either wondering what went wrong in their marriage or they are so exasperated by the whole experience that they really don’t care. Is it even possible that people don’t care about the issues leading to the dissolution of their marriage or is this just their way to sweep years of anger, hurt and misunderstanding under the carpet of their once united home?
Countless books and articles have been written on the subject of marriage and plenty of advice has been given on all the dos and don’ts of this, the most intimate of relationships. But really, what good is any of it if the individuals involved are unwilling to accept the possible fact that if there are problems in the relationship it could lie with them! It’s hard for us to accept that we can be wrong about anything; especially about the way we think things ought to be in our marriage. Our relationships may only begin to improve once we begin to focus on the one in which we have committed our life and not ourselves.
Marriages that last a lifetime may be decreasing in our society, but there are still many who have weathered the storms that marriage can bring and are willing to share their heartfelt advice to others in hopes that it would help them enjoy all that married life has to offer.
Clay and Marsha Bullard of Fayetteville have been married for 38 years and are as much in love today as they were when they met in 1972. Marsha says that Clay always makes her feel “extra special” by telling her how beautiful she is all the time… even if she looks “a mess.” He also gives her a letter about every ten years recapping their life experiences for that period of time that has passed. Marsha’s advice for couples today is to always treat and love your spouse better than you would treat and love yourself. Clay’s advice is to have a relationship that is dependable. He says he depends on Marsha for a lot of things and she gives him everything he needs, in other words he stated, “she fulfills me.” He said that love certainly has its place in the relationship along with mutual respect and deep friendship. They both shared that keeping God in their relationship is key especially since their vows were made before Him.
Joe and Carol Quigg of Fayetteville have been married for 51 years. Carol’s advice is “you have to be willing to compromise.” Joe’s advice is “you don’t always have to be right.”
Dr. Nitin and Tina Desai of Fayetteville met in Baroda, India and dated a few months before becoming engaged. They have been married for 30 years. Tina’s advice is to have a foundation of trust in your marriage. Nitin said there will always be challenges and differences between two people in marriage, but that you have work through them.
John and Rudene Mitchell of Fayetteville have been married for 48 years. Rudene’s advice, given to her by her parents, is that communication is very important. Also that God comes first in everything then your family. If you do this everything will fall into place. John’s advice is to respect each other and let each person in the relationship be who they are.
It’s easy to see that the advice given by these couples involves a willingness to treat their spouse the way they want to be treated. Isn’t that what we should all do anyway? Maybe putting into practice this one simple idea will reverse the spoken words, “I’m through” so that a marriage will be saved and two hearts will be renewed.
