The fun of the new year has quickly passed us by as we prepare to head into February, full speed ahead. Some may welcome the new month with open arms, others may dread it, avoiding every store with heart-shaped chocolates, stuffed animals and Hallmark cards promising endless love and togetherness. Valentine’s Day is notoriously a love/hate holiday with some feeling there is no need for there to be one day dedicated to telling the person you love that you love them; you should just do that all the time. Others, myself included, believe it’s the best holiday, eagerly waiting to demonstrate their affections in an over-the-top fashion. My opinion is that love should be celebrated, but my appreciation for the holiday has changed since my husband joined the Army.
The first Valentine’s Day I spent without him I struggled to celebrate with the kids; purchasing heart-shaped items and gifts for them was a reminder I was not going to be celebrating with him. I can’t tell you how angry I got seeing couples hold hands and do other cliché couple things while I was away from the man I spent the last 12 Valentine’s Days with. I saw activities and events for singles, but I wasn’t single. I was not yet in a military community and everyone around me had plans, so I was just alone and sad.
Since he joined, we haven’t spent Valentine’s Day together due to one thing or another. So we began celebrating the holiday earlier and that was good enough for me. The day of Valentine’s Day I would do something special with the kids and, yes, for myself. I’d usually order something delicious for takeout, have a bottle of my favorite wine and watch my favorite rom-coms. This year I made plans with another military spouse whose husband would be gone with mine and we’ll be having fun celebrating together instead of moping alone.
For the early Valentine’s Day with my husband, I scheduled photos with a local photographer, made dinner plans and was trying to decide which comedian we wanted to see. It was going to be great, until it wasn’t. The only thing more unpredictable than the Army is the weather, especially lately. My husband was supposed to be home from a field training event for the weekend but due to the unexpected snowstorm, there went the celebrations. I was annoyed to say the least but what can you do?
As time goes on being married to him and the military, I’ve learned to take everything as it comes. So I bundled up, took my kids out, and enjoyed the snow day. As they warmed up with hot chocolate I thought about what I would do instead.
I decided to keep the photo shoot plans and make the most of it. I cancelled the sitter and made plans to have a friend over for face masks, wine, and maybe a movie if we could stop talking long enough to watch it. If you find yourself in a position like mine, the most important thing to do is keep your head above water. Make the most out of the situation you are in. And if you can avoid being alone, do so. I guarantee someone else is heartbroken spending Valentine’s Day alone as well. Spend it together.
The most important thing I’ve learned about Valentine’s Day since my husband joined is it’s not just about your love for your spouse. It’s about love, plain and simple. Love for your children, love for your community, and most importantly, loving yourself. Even if you are alone on Valentine’s Day, you deserve love and to celebrate it.
