What kind of New Year’s resolutions do you make? Do you promise to walk five miles every day or to work out at the gym several times a week?

How successful are you at sticking to these resolutions?

I have made my share of resolutions over the years, and my track record for keeping them is pretty dismal. What seems possible on Jan. 1 frequently seems unattainable by February, especially if I made these resolutions after consuming one too many glasses of champagne.

For several years, I vowed to eat less chocolate, only to discover this was a promise I couldn’t keep. Anyone who knows me knows that chocolate is the one true weakness of a woman who is otherwise almost flawless. While I will admit I love coffee and wine, chocolate is in a category all its own. When I am in the presence of this divine confection, time and space lose all meaning. I am transported to another world that surpasses anything even H.G. Wells could have imagined. The only thing that brings me back to earth is the thought of an upset stomach or having to buy clothes in a bigger size.

Another resolution I have made but failed to keep is my promise to read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy and Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. Of all the books in the world that I could read, these stand as the ultimate challenge.

Everyone I know who has read War and Peace, assuming they are telling the truth, calls it a masterpiece and something every serious reader must read. Apparently, I am not a serious reader because I haven’t read it. I did skim through it once, amazed and horrified by the number of characters, all of whom had long and complicated Russian names. When my husband read it, he solved this problem by creating a character chart, which he kept by his side as he read. Even then, he was occasionally confused.

I decided to read Les Misérables after I saw the musical. I don’t know how others have reacted to this musical masterpiece, but for me, it was a religious experience that I believed would only grow stronger after I read the book. When I discovered it was more than 1,400 pages, I decided to practice my newfound religion by listening to the soundtrack.

Another resolution I find impossible to keep is my promise to stop swearing. When I began my love affair with profanity several decades ago, I was certain I had found a new way to show my affection for the English language and all the possibilities it offered me for expressing my feelings at any given moment.

As I have aged, I now generally limit my profanity to incidents that involve my computer, my phone, and bad drivers. Since I value my life, I never make eye contact with people whose insane driving habits cause me to lose my temper and swear. Instead, I smile and keep my eyes on the road, all the while cursing the other person. By contrast, my computer and my phone are inanimate objects and therefore hear all of my gutter language. So far, they have not complained.

I eventually decided the best way to keep from breaking New Year’s resolutions is not to make them in the first place. Depending on the kind of resolutions you make, the next 12 months will be insufferable because of the restrictions you placed on yourself, or there will be a time when you feel like a failure for giving up so quickly. I know very few people who have actually made it through an entire year without breaking their resolutions.

Instead of creating an all-or-nothing approach to each new year, I have settled for a permanent middle-of-the-road way of living. I eat some chocolate, I entertain the idea of reading War and Peace or Les Misérables, and I swear only when it is absolutely necessary. And I resolve to keep doing all these things.

Read CityView magazine’s “New Year New You” January 2025 e-edition here.