They called him “Coach.”
He was so much more.
“He was like a father figure to me,” Andy Dempster told us Sunday at the Celebration of Life and remembrance of Gary Weller at Cedar Falls Baptist Church. “He was my mentor. He was just a great guy, and he imparted so much wisdom all through the last 45 years. The bottom line is that the coach turned us young guys — young boys — into men.”
They called him “Coach.”
He taught them the game of football in 15 seasons as head coach at Pine Forest High School in north Fayetteville, where his Trojans compiled a 98-61-0 record, including 11-2-0 in 1978 and 12-1-0 in 1980. He taught his teams to win with humility and to lose with grace, because there always was another game and another Friday Under the Lights on the horizon. He was inducted into the Legends Class of the Fayetteville Sports Club Hall of Fame on March 29, 2023.
“You know a life has impacted people by how many people show up at their funeral, and this is just an amazing testament to the life of ‘Coach,’” the Rev. Glenn Meadows said. “This is not a funeral. This is a homecoming celebration. This is a celebration of a life that touched so many.”
From the altar to the balcony, former athletes and now men bore witness to a preacher’s words. Among them seated in pew after pew after pew were Dempster and Jimmy Keefe, class of 1979; Billy Whittenton, Vince Evans, Dwayne Farmer, Chris Funk and Tommy O’Brien, class of 1981; Todd Hedgepeth, Rodney Byrd, David Harris and Maury Taylor, class of 1983; Earl Horan and J.J. Smith, class of 1984; Charles Davenport, class of 1987; Tyrone Davis and Chris Barnes, class of 1988; Chuck Parker, class of 1989; Brian Davenport, class of 1991; and Matthew “Buck” Weller, class of 1995.
A son remembers his hero
“Most people refer to my dad as ‘Coach,’ but he was so much more than that,” Matthew Weller said. “He was a husband. He was a father, a friend, a brother and a mentor.
“Let’s start with husband. Dad worked hard to be the best husband he could be. My sister, Meredith, and I have been so fortunate to see our parents love each other unconditionally for 54 years. Our mom, or ‘My little blonde one’ as he would say, was the light of his life. He was so proud to be her husband. I truly believe the best part of their relationship was he fell more and more in love with her over the years. Watching their relationship, now as an adult, they were an example for all of us to learn from.”
A son would remember a father.
“A father is someone who is a protector, a teacher, an encourager,” Buck Weller said “A person who picks you up when you fall, brushes you off and lets you try again. He is admired and much loved, often referred to as a son’s first hero and a daughter’s first love.”
Gary Weller was and always will be Buck Weller’s hero.
“It was the little things that stand out,” Buck Weller said. “The time you spent with me in the yard throwing the football or the baseball. Taking both Meredith and I on country roads in Linden and teaching us how to drive a stick-shift.”
He would remind us of a devoted grandfather, always at a granddaughter’s athletic games. And a devoted brother to “Uncle Slim.”
“Every single day my dad was in the hospital,” Buck said, “we made sure to call Uncle Slim so they could hear each other’s voices.”
And he would remember his father as a mentor to aspiring athletes and coaches.
“A mentor is a person who can support God and advise they take the time to get to know you and the challenges you are facing,” Buck said. “You mentored hundreds of players, that was obvious. He also mentored young coaches that want to learn from his successes and his failures.”
You saw the coaches in the church pews, too, including Dean Saffos, Mark Heil, Chuck Mohn, Billy Starks, Al Miller, Ronnie Luck, Bill Yeager, David Culbreth and current Pine Forest coach Bill Sochova.
April 14, 2004
A son would remember, too, April 14, 2004, the fateful spring day when a motorist in a stolen City of Fayetteville vehicle intentionally ran over three pedestrians in north Fayetteville, including the retired coach who was jogging home; another victim in nearby Linden, who died; and a fifth in Harnett County.
Gary Weller was transported to UNC Hospitals in Chapel Hill, according to The Gary Weller Foundation 501(c)(3) charitable organization website. He was in a coma for 35 days.
“I was angry during the trial,” Buck Weller said. “I wanted to be there for my dad and my mom, but I could only bring myself to show up one day. I couldn’t sit there and look at the man responsible for changing our lives.”
The 31-year-old motorist was sentenced in 2010 to life in prison, according to WRAL and other published reports, without the possibility of parole.
Gary Weller used a motorized wheelchair and a walker for the remainder of his life.
“I was overcome with anger,” Buck Weller said. “How could my dad forgive him? How could he move on with his life in a positive attitude. There’s no doubt he had days where he was frustrated. He was human, but I never understood how he continued to live out his life independently and with such hope, but God knew he gave his heart to the Lord and became rich in his faith.”
Gary Weller turned to helping others including testimonials through The Gary Weller Foundation.
“I refused to be bent up with bitterness,” he told writer Matt Ham in 2013, author of “Completely Broke – The Amazing Story of Coach Gary Weller” published on the foundation website.
‘Loving them as his own’
Gary Lee Weller died Sept. 17.
He was 75.
“I look at Coach’s life and I see this parallel between Coach and the Apostle Paul,” the Rev. Meadows said. “Yes, they both faced hardships in their lives. I see that both of these men had a very profound impact on many people’s lives. I see Coach taking young men and mentoring them and loving them as his own.”
The preacher looked into the congregation filled with those old Trojan football players who once played as teenagers under the Friday Night Lights of their youth.
“For many of you here today, Coach was like a father to you,” the preacher said. “Paul spoke frequently about his hardships. Just like Coach, he never allowed his hardships to get in the way of the bigger picture. They both knew that this life was temporal and that through this life that all of us would have trials and tribulations, but they also knew that there was something bigger and better waiting for them on the other side, and that’s why they did what they did.”
The preacher reminded us of a man’s courage and a man’s uncompromising faith in his Lord and savior.
“It’s one thing to know that life is going to be tough, but it’s men like Gary, and they knew that they could just sit around and feel sorry for themselves or they could invest in those around them to make their lives that purpose in meaning,” Meadows said. “We all have that choice in life. We can choose to sit on the sideline and feel sorry for the hand that we’ve been dealt or we can pick ourselves up and get back into game, just like Coach did.”
Epilogue
He was Gary Weller.
They called him “Coach.”
And Gary Weller was so much more in their lives.
Bill Kirby Jr. can be reached at billkirby49@gmail.com or 910-624-1961.
We’re in our third year of CityView Today, and so many of you have been with us from day one in our efforts to bring the news of the city, county, community and Cape Fear region each day. We’re here with a purpose — to deliver the news that matters to you. To sustain our CityView Today reporting, click here.
Thank you for capturing the essence of who Coach was and what he meant to so many!!
It was a beautiful service!!
What a great article Bill, thanks for writing for a great man, a great friend.
Thank you. The last time he danced was at my daughters wedding. Kelley Carter Sides and Scott Sides will never forget that moment
A memory to last
20 years ago
What an awesome tribute to an great man. When Gary came to PFHS in 1978, he interviewed me, and gave me the opportunity to coach with him for the next 15 years. I learned so much from Gary about coaching and life.