There is no right or wrong way to be a woman, but there are so many choices and there will always be opinions.
Be married by 30 or be prepared to explain why you’re single at every family function. Have kids or don’t, but if you choose not to or can’t, be prepared to explain why to the random lady asking in the supermarket. If you do have kids, well now you have another choice, working or stay-at-home mom? He cheated, oh no, what did you do wrong? Divorce? Honey, how exactly did you fail your marriage?
Can women have dreams and ambitions, or should they focus on being a good wife?
Girls are programmed to dream of their wedding day and to be a perfect wife. Girls are taught to have a limited amount of fire in themselves, as women should not threaten men. No man wants a woman more successful than he is.
Men, on the other hand, are not taught the same. Boys can be average, but as a woman, you have to be exceptional for anyone to notice. Men compete for achievements, then the women are supposed to compete for the affection of the most achieved man.
There’s been enough of society telling women how to be women. No matter what anyone says, whatever you decide is right for you is what’s right. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. You can and should go after whatever it is you want, and, if you have marital problems, it takes two to tango. Aside from cheating, the one cheating made the choice and there is no right reason to cheat.
Making decisions today as a woman seems impossible. If you are a woman with a career, you may hear whispering. People question if you slept your way to the top, or assume it — no way you could make it there on your own. If you are a stay-at-home mom, people are loud and proud as they say your life is easy and you don’t do anything all day.
To make the impossible possible, you have to stop listening to what society says and listen to your heart. Do what feels best to you.
Women of the past fought, sacrificing blood, sweat and tears for women today to have the opportunities that we do. We should not make those accomplishments small by feeling like we have to do anything other than what we want to do.
Being married to the military can make that fact hard to remember from time to time. If your husband has to go away for field training, deployment or any other duties, you are expected to pick up the slack.
The military mindset is: “Well, where is your wife? Why can’t she pick up the kids? Why can’t she be here to watch you do this? Why can’t she, ?” This way of life may make things harder for a woman.
If you work, you miss things and have more to juggle. If you stay home with the kids, you don’t get a sick day, rest, days off or help. But these inconveniences don’t matter. Why?
Because you are a woman. You have the power to grow another human being and bring it into this world, then go back to normal a few short days later. You have the ability to have your personal life crashing all around you and to paint on a face over the bags under your eyes and fake a smile. You can’t expect praise or understanding.
But when they say you can’t, you can, and you can do it in heels.
Read CityView Magazine’s “The Women’s Issue” March 2025 e-edition here.
