The holidays are a wonderful and magical time of the year for most, but they can be a trying and difficult time for others, especially in the military community. Prior to my husband joining the U.S. Army, Christmas was a joyful yet chaotic time full of shopping, planning, and running all over the place, trying to fit in time with all of our friends and families.
Last year was our first Christmas away from everyone we knew, and we thought it would be a nice change of pace. It was harder than we anticipated, mainly just a little too quiet. Going home for the holidays is not always doable, but we plan to make it happen this year.
Being home for the holidays means more than just being there in the physical sense. Typically, being surrounded by loved ones is the ultimate goal. But there are ways to continue having a meaningful holiday season even if you can’t go home in the traditional sense, giving a new meaning to “home for the holidays.”
I’ve had the opportunity to learn a bit more about something we’ve always tried to include in our “Happy Holidays” greetings, but that I didn’t know much about: Hanukkah. I remember growing up and hearing the song Dreidel and I recognized the menorah, but before recently that was all I knew.
My wonderful boss, Barbara Rothbeind, and Solomon Wilkoff, an Army medic I was introduced to by my husband, kindly took the time to teach me about Hanukkah, how it’s celebrated, and how it remains a joyful time of celebration, even when it can’t always be spent with their loved ones.
I learned a lot. I’ll summarize what I took away as the three most important pieces.
First, Hanukkah is more of a celebration or festival than a holiday of a miracle from more than 2,200 ago, according to NPR, where, after rededicating Jerusalem’s Temple, its menorah was lit with a small amount of oil and miraculously stayed lit for eight days.
Second, as a result of this, the celebration is eight days long, and, unlike Christmas, does not fall on the same day every year, as it runs on the Jewish calendar.
Finally, Hanukkah, aka “The Festival of Lights,” mainly celebrates oil and involves fried foods such as latkes, and the lighting of the candles on the menorah, all to commemorate the religious origins of the celebration.
Hanukkah is often a time to be near loved ones, to eat, to pray, and to give gifts. Children create lists — much like a list for Santa — referred to as a Hanukkah list.
I learned that while the celebration and religious aspect of Hanukkah do not differ much between Barbara and Solomon’s accounts, and while both are not located close enough to family to celebrate with them in person, both have found ways to continue to make the holiday meaningful.
Barbara includes her family in her celebrations by utilizing FaceTime when lighting the candles or opening gifts, and still sends gifts to loved ones. She also celebrates with others in her community. Her synagogue will often have a gathering on one of the eight nights in which a game, similar to Secret Santa, is played.
She reflected on a lot of ways her family has celebrated, such as playing with the dreidel, and I’ve been able to learn a lot more about it than just the song. Her favorite part of Hanukkah is the eighth night, when all the candles are lit.
Solomon describes how being in the Army has made celebrating look a little different than before, as he doesn’t typically go home to celebrate Hanukkah. He explained that while he’s sure he could return home if he wanted to, as a medic in the Army, relationships with those in his unit are important, and spending time together makes relationships stronger. He does still celebrate with his community, and noted buddies from his unit would do things in celebration with him like making latkes. His favorite part of Hanukkah is the music.
As much as we loved celebrating the holidays traditionally, this new way of being “home for the holidays” is refreshing, and while different, still enjoyable.
Open yourself up to learning about how others celebrate. Help them feel at home for the holidays and allow them to return the favor. And of course, continue to engage in celebration with your loved ones in your home away from home, if going back isn’t an option.
Read CityView magazine’s “Home for the Holidays” December 2024 e-edition here.
