Trigger warning: This column discusses sexual assault, which may be distressing to some readers. If you're currently struggling with trauma related to sexual assault, there are resources in Fayetteville to help.
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It’s common practice to ask the people you interact with how they are doing. Despite joy or afflictions, the universal response is, “I’m good.”
The question is asked not because we necessarily care to know, but because it’s the polite thing to do. In turn, a polite response is given.
Politeness always has its time and place, but April reminds us that there’s a time and place to be frank and brutally honest. April is the month to advocate, to educate and to increase awareness. Of equal importance, April requires compassion, openness and unwavering support.
As Sexual Assault Awareness Month, April is about making the world a better place, and to do that we have to talk about the uncomfortable, ugly and unacknowledged truth: that sexual violence is happening all around us, or to us, and it is simply not a topic of conversation we engage in enough.
No matter how open we think we are, how open can we be if there are still so many unspoken details of our lives that we have to keep inside? According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half of all women and nearly 1 in 3 men has experienced sexual violence in their lifetimes.
No community, including the military community, is spared from sexual violence. Between 2018 and 2021, military sexual assaults increased by around 25%, jumping from 28,600 active duty service members to 35,900, the American Psychological Association reported. That number doesn’t count military spouses and dependents, who experience unique vulnerabilities. And still, despite the large figures, sharing numerical statistics of sexual violence can be a disservice since there are an immeasurable number of survivors out there who are not counted as cases go unreported.
Sexual violence takes away from a person something that feels impossible to get back. Hope is an opportunity not afforded to most survivors. In fact, most survivors don’t feel like survivors at all.
Misconceptions are placed in their minds that their experiences made them weak, not worthy — that it made them voiceless or less than.
But instead of the road to recovery being left to the one feeling hopeless, it must be left to the many to inspire hope. Therefore, all communities must do their part to put an end to the silence. It’s crucial to support survivors in any way we can. Nothing was taken from them that they cannot take back. They are survivors and when they decide to remove their armor because they don’t need it to survive anymore, they will see they are not broken.
So as a message to them: I see you and I know you’re there. Knowing that not all survivors are counted in the statistics provided by reporting agencies, with numbers still alarmingly high, don’t turn your back to that fact — there is a dire need to increase awareness and to give someone you know the opportunity to come to you for support.
There never seems to be a right time and place to talk about sexual violence, but April is that time and place. If we want to see change, we have to start with ourselves. So I’m starting with me.
I’m no longer afraid to talk about it, I am always here to support anyone who wants to talk about it, and I’ll always stand with you.
I’ve learned that it’s OK to say #MeToo.
The more you know:
For resources and information provided by the US Army: DPRR: SHARP (army.mil)
For resources and information provided by Attorney General Josh Stein: Sexual Assault Resources at the North Carolina Department of Justice (ncdoj.gov)
For statistics on the state of North Carolina provided by the North Carolina Department of Administration: Statistics | NC DOA
Editor's note: As part of CityView's commitment to filling gaps by providing reporting and information for the Fort Liberty community, our HomeFront initiative features two columnists who will write regularly about issues military families face.
Jaylin Kremer and her husband are natives of Pittsburgh. She is studying psychology and plans to go to law school and works as an advocate for mental health and victims of sexual violence. Jaylin is a member of the Fort Liberty school board and first vice president of the Fort Liberty Spouses Club. She believes that small acts of kindness go a long way.
If there's a topic you'd like for our columnists address, let us know at talk@cityviewnc.com.
